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SPROUL  HALL  LIBRARY 


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The   Incarnation 

of 

Krishna  Mulvaney 


The  Incarnation  of 
Krishna  Mulvaney 

BT 
RUDYARD    KIPLING 


New  York:     DOUBLEDAY    AND 
iMcCLURE  COMPANY  Mdcccxcix 


Copyright,  i8gg.  bv 
RUDYARD  Kipling 


Press  of  J.  J.  Little  &■  Co. 
Astor  Place,  New  York 


toproil  uail. 

The  Incarnation  of  Krishna 
Mulvaney 

? 

Wohl  auf,  my  bully  cavaliers. 

We  ride  to  church  to-day. 
The  man  that  has  n't  got  a  horse 

Must  steal  one  straight  away. 

Be  reverent,  men,  remember 

This  is  a  Gottes  haus. 
Du,  Conrad,  cut  along  der  aisle 

And  schenck  der  whiskey  aus. 

Hans  Breitman's  Ride  to  Church. 

ONCE   upon  a    time,  very- 
far  from  England,  there 
lived    three    men    who 
loved  each   other  so  greatly  that 
neither   man    nor   woman    could 
come  between  them.     They  were 


The  Incarnation  of 

in  no  sense  refined  nor  to  be  ad- 
mitted to  the  outer-door  mats  of 
decent  folk,  because  they  hap- 
pened to  be  private  soldiers  in 
Her  Majesty's  Army  ;  and  pri- 
vate soldiers  of  our  service  have 
small  time  for  self-culture.  Their 
duty  is  to  keep  themselves  and 
their  accoutrements  specklessly 
clean,  to  refrain  from  getting 
drunk  more  often  than  is  neces- 
sary, to  obey  their  superiors,  and 
to  pray  for  a  war.  All  these 
things  my  friends  accomplished  ; 
and  of  their  own  motion  threw 
in  some  fighting-work  for  which 
the  Army  Regulations  did  not 
call.  Their  fate  sent  them  to  serve 
in  India,  which  is  not  a  golden 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

country,  though  poets  have  sung 
otherwise.  There  men  die  with 
great  swiftness,  and  those  who 
Uve  suffer  many  and  curious 
things.  I  do  not  think  that 
my  friends  concerned  themselves 
much  with  the  social  or  political 
aspects  of  the  East.  They  at- 
tended a  not  unimportant  war 
on  the  northern  frontier,  another 
one  on  our  western  boundary, 
and  a  third  in  Upper  Burma. 
Then  their  regiment  sat  still  to 
recruit,  and  the  boundless  mo- 
notony of  cantonment  life  was 
their  portion.  They  were  drilled 
morning  and  evening  on  the 
same  dusty  parade-ground.  They 
wandered  up  and  down  the  same 
3 


The  Incarnation  of 

stretch  of  dusty  white  road,  at- 
tended the  same  church  and  the 
same  grog-shop,  and  slept  in  the 
same  Hme-washed  barn  of  a  bar- 
rack for  two  long  years.  There 
was  Mulvaney,  the  father  in  the 
craft,  who  had  served  with  vari- 
ous regiments  from  Bermuda  to 
Halifax,  old  in  war,  scarred,  reck- 
less, resourceful,  and  in  his  pious 
hours  an  unequalled  soldier.  To 
him  turned  for  help  and  comfort 
six  and  a  half  feet  of  slow-mov- 
ing, heavy-footed  Yorkshireman, 
born  on  the  wolds,  bred  in  the 
dales,  and  educated  chiefly  among 
the  carriers'  carts  at  the  back  of 
York  railway-station.  His  name 
was  Learoyd,  and  his  chief  virtue 

4 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

an  unmitigated  patience  which 
helped  him  to  win  fights.  How 
Ortheris,  a  fox-terrier  of  a  Cock- 
ney, ever  came  to  be  one  of  the 
trio,  is  a  mystery  which  even  to- 
day I  cannot  explain.  'There 
was  always  three  av  us,"  Mul- 
vaney used  to  say.  *  An'  by 
the  grace  av  God,  so  long  as  our 
service  lasts,  three  av  us  they  '11 
always  be.      'T  is  betther  so." 

They  desired  no  companion- 
ship beyond  their  own,  and  it 
was  evil  for  any  man  of  the 
regiment  who  attempted  dispute 
with  them.  Physical  argument 
was  out  of  the  question  as 
regarded  Mulvaney  and  the  York- 
shireman  ;  and  assault  on  Orthe- 
5 


The  Incarnation  of 

ris  meant  a  combined  attack 
from  these  twain  —  a  business 
which  no  five  men  were  anxious 
to  have  on  their  hands.  There- 
fore they  flourished,  sharing  their 
drinks,  their  tobacco,  and  their 
money ;  good  luck  and  evil ;  bat- 
tle and  the  chances  of  death;  life 
and  the  chances  of  happiness  from 
Calicut  in  southern,  to  Peshawur 
in  northern  India. 

Through  no  merit  of  my  own 
it  was  my  good  fortune  to  be  in  a 
measure  admitted  to  their  friend- 
ship—  frankly  by  Mulvaney  from 
the  beginning,  sullenly  and  with 
reluctance  by  Learoyd,  and  sus- 
piciously by  Ortheris,   who  held 

to   it    that   no   man    not    in    the 
6 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

Army  could  fraternise  with  a 
red-coat.  *Like  to  like,'  said  he. 
*I  'm  a  bloomin'  sodger  —  he  *s  a 
bloomin'  civilian.     'Taint  natural 

—  that  *s  all.' 

But  that  was  not  all.  They 
thawed  progressively,  and  in  the 
thawing  told  me  more  of  their 
lives  and  adventures  than  I  am 
ever  likely  to  write. 

Omitting  all  else,  this  tale  be- 
gins with  the  Lamentable  Thirst 
that  was  at  the  beginning  of  First 
Causes.      Never  was  such  a  thirst 

—  Mulvaney  told  me  so.  They 
kicked  against  their  compulsory 
virtue,  but  the  attempt  was  only 
successful  in  the  case  of  Ortheris. 
He,    whose    talents   were    many, 

7 


The  Incarnation  of 

went  forth  into  the  highways  and 
stole  a  dog  from  a  *  civiUan '  — 
videlicet,  some  one,  he  knew  not 
who,  not  in  the  Army.  Now 
that  civiHan  was  but  newly  con- 
nected by  marriage  with  the 
colonel  of  the  regiment,  and  out- 
cry was  made  from  quarters  least 
anticipated  by  Ortheris,  and,  in 
the  end,  he  was  forced,  lest  a 
worse  thing  should  happen,  to 
dispose  at  ridiculously  unremune- 
rative  rates  of  as  promising  a 
small  terrier  as  ever  graced  one 
end  of  a  leading  string.  The 
purchase-money  was  barely  suffi- 
cient for  one  small  outbreak  which 
led  him  to  the  guard-room.  He 
escaped,   however,   with   nothing 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

worse  than  a  severe  reprimand, 
and  a  few  hours  of  punishment 
drill.  Not  for  nothing  had  he 
acquired  the  reputation  of  being 
*the  best  soldier  of  his  inches'  in 
the  regiment.  Mulvaney  had 
taught  personal  cleanliness  and 
efficiency  as  the  first  articles  of 
his  companions'  creed.  *A  dhirty 
man,'  he  was  used  to  say,  in  the 
speech  of  his  kind,  *goes  to  Clink 
for  a  weakness  in  the  knees,  an* 
is  coort-martialled  for  a  pair  av 
socks  missin';  but  a  clane  man, 
such  as  is  an  ornament  to  his  ser- 
vice—  a  man  whose  buttons  are 
gold,  whose  coat  is  wax  upon 
him,  an'  whose  'coutrements  are 
widout  a  speck — that  man  may, 
9. 


The  Incarnation  of 

spakin'  in  reason,  do  fwhat  he 
likes  an'  dhrink  from  day  to  divil. 
That  's  the  pride  av  bein'  dacint/ 

We  sat  together,  upon  a  day, 
in  the  shade  of  a  ravine  far  from 
the  barracks,  where  a  watercourse 
used  to  run  in  rainy  weather. 
Behind  us  was  the  scrub  jungle, 
in  which  jackals,  peacocks,  the 
gray  wolves  of  the  North-Western 
Provinces,  and  occasionally  a  tiger 
estrayed  from  Central  India,  were 
supposed  to  dwell.  In  front  lay 
the  cantonment,  glaring  white 
under  a  glaring  sun ;  and  on  either 
side  ran  the  broad  road  that  led 
to  Delhi. 

It  was  the  scrub  that  suggested 
to  my  mind  the  wisdom  of  Mul- 

lO 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

vaney  taking  a  day's  leave  and 
going  upon  a  shooting-tour.  The 
peacock  is  a  holy  bird  throughout 
India,  and  he  who  slays  one  is  in 
danger  of  being  mobbed  by  the 
nearest  villagers;  but  on  the  last 
occasion  that  Mulvaney  had  gone 
forth,  he  had  contrived,  without 
in  the  least  offending  local  reli- 
gious susceptibilities,  to  return 
with  six  beautiful  peacock  skins 
which  he  sold  to  profit.     It  seemed 

just  possible  then 

*  But  fwhat  manner  av  use  is  ut 
to  me  goin'  out  widout  a  dhrink  ? 
The  ground  's  powdher-dhry  un- 
derfoot, an'  ut  gets  unto  the  throat 
fit  to  kill,'  wailed  Mulvaney,  look- 
ing at  me  reproachfully.      *  An'  a 


The  Incarnation  of 

peacock  is  not  a  bird  you  can 
catch  the  tail  av  onless  ye  run. 
Can  a  man  run  on  wather  —  an' 
jungle- wather  too  ? ' 

Ortheris  had  considered  the 
question  in  all  its  bearings.  He 
spoke,  chewing  his  pipe-stem 
meditatively  the  while : 

*■  Go  forth,  return  in  glory, 
To  Clusium's  royal  'ome  : 
An'  round  these  bloomin'  temples  'ang 
The  bloomin'  shields  o'  Rome. 

You  better  go.  You  ain't  like 
to  shoot  yourself —  not  while 
there  's  a  chanst  of  liquor.  Me 
an*  Learoyd  '11  stay  at  'ome  an' 
keep  shop  —  'case  o'  anythin' 
turnin'  up.  But  you  go  out  with 
a  gas-pipe  gun  an'  ketch  the  little 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

peacockses  or  somethin*.  You 
kin  get  one  day's  leave  easy  as 
winkin'.  Go  along  an'  get  it, 
an*  get  peacockses  or  somethin*.* 

*  Jock,'  said  Mulvaney,  turning 
to  Learoyd,  who  was  half  asleep 
under  the  shadow  of  the  bank. 
He  roused  slowly. 

"  Sitha,  Mulvaaney,  go,"  said 
he. 

And  Mulvaney  went ;  cursing 
his  allies  with  Irish  fluency  and 
barrack-room  point. 

*  Take  note,'  said  he,  when  he 
had  won  his  holiday,  and  ap- 
peared dressed  in  his  roughest 
clothes  with  the  only  other  regi- 
mental fowling  piece  in  his  hand. 
*Take  note,  Jock,  an' you  Orth'ris, 

13 


The  Incarnation  of 

I  am  goin'  in  the  face  av  my  own 
will  —  all  for  to  please  you.  I 
misdoubt  anythin'  will  come  av 
permiscuous  huntin'  afther  pea- 
cpckses  in  a  desolit  Ian'  ;  an'  I 
know  that  I  will  lie  down  an' 
die  wid  thirrrst.  Me  catch  pea- 
cockses  for  you,  ye  lazy  scutts  — 
an'  be  sacrificed  by  the  peasanthry 
—  Ugh!' 

He  waved  a  huge  paw  and 
went  away. 

At  twilight,  long  before  the 
appointed  hour,  he  returned 
empty-handed,  much  begrimed 
with  dirt. 

*  Peacockses  ? '  queried  Ortheris 
from  the  safe  rest  of  a  barrack- 
room  table  whereon  he  was  smok- 
14 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

ing  cross-legged,  Learoyd  fast 
asleep  on  a  bench. 

*  Jock,'  said  Mulvaney  without 
answering,  as  he  stirred  up  the 
sleeper.  *  Jock,  can  ye  fight  ? 
Will  ye  fight  ? ' 

Very  slowly  the  meaning  ot 
the  words  communicated  itself  to 
the  half-roused  man.  He  under- 
stood —  and  again  —  what  might 
these  things  mean  ?  Mulvaney 
was  shaking  him  savagely.  Mean- 
time the  men  in  the  room  howled 
with  delight.  There  was  war  in 
the  confederacy  at  last  —  war  and 
the  breaking  of  bonds. 

Barrack-room  etiquette  is  strin- 
gent. On  the  direct  challenge 
must  follow  the  direct  reply. 
IS 


The  Incarnation  of 

This  is  more  binding  than  the 
ties  of  tried  friendship.  Once 
again  Mulvaney  repeated  the 
question.  Learoyd  answered  by 
the  only  means  in  his  power,  and 
so  swiftly  that  the  Irishman  had 
barely  time  to  avoid  the  blow. 
The  laughter  around  increased. 
Learoyd  looked  bewilderedly  at 
his  friend  —  himself  as  greatly 
bewildered.  Ortheris  dropped 
from  the  table  because  his  world 
was  falling. 

*  Come  outside,"  said  Mul- 
vaney, and  as  the  occupants  of  the 
barrack-room  prepared  joyously 
to  follow,  he  turned  and  said  fu- 
riously, '  There  will  be  no  fight 

this  night  —  onless  any   wan   av 
i6 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

you  is  wishful  to  assist.  The  man 
that  does,  follows  on/ 

No  man  moved.  The  three 
passed  out  into  the  moonlight, 
Learoyd  fumbling  with  the  but- 
tons of  his  coat.  The  parade- 
ground  was  deserted  except  for 
the  scurrying  jackals.  Mulvaney's 
impetuous  rush  carried  his  com- 
panions far  into  the  open  ere 
Learoyd  attempted  to  turn  round 
and  continue  the  discussion. 

*  Be  still  now.  'Twas  my 
fault  for  beginnin'  things  in  the 
middle  av  an  end,  Jock.  I  should 
ha'  comminst  wid  an  explanation  ; 
but  Jock,  dear,  on  your  sowl  are 
ye  fit,  think  you,  for  the  finest 
fight  that  iver  was  —  betther  than 
«  17 


The  Incarnation  of 

fightin'  me  ?  Considher  before 
ye  answer.' 

More  than  ever  puzzled, 
Learoyd  turned  round  two  or 
three  times,  felt  an  arm,  kicked 
tentatively,  and  answered,  *  Ah  'm 
fit.'  He  was  accustomed  to  fight 
blindly  at  the  bidding  of  the 
superior  mind. 

They  sat  them  down,  the  men 
looking  on  from  afar,  and  Mul- 
vaney  untangled  himself  in 
mighty  words. 

*  Followin'  your  fools'  scheme 

I    wint    out    into    the    thrackless 

desert  beyond  the  barricks.      An' 

there  I  met  a  pious  Hindu  dhriv- 

ing  a  bullock-kyart.     I  tuk  ut  for 

granted  he  wud  be  delighted   for 
i8 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

to     convoy    me    a    piece,    an'    I 
jumped  in ' 

*  You  long,  lazy,  black-haired 
swine,'  drawled  Ortheris,  who 
would  have  done  the  same  thing 
under  similar  circumstances. 

*  'T  was  the  height  av  policy. 
That  naygur-man  dhruv  miles 
an'  miles  —  as  far  as  the  new 
railway  line  they  're  buildin'  now 
back  av  the  Tavi  river.  "  'T  is  a 
kyart  for  dhirt  only,"  says  he 
now  an'  again  timoreously,  to  get 
me  out  uv  ut.  **  Dhirt  I  am," 
sez  I,  "  an'  the  dhryest  that  you 
iver  kyarted.  Dhrive  on,  me  son, 
an'  glory  be  wid  you."  At  that 
I  wint  to  slape,  an'  took  no  heed 
till  he  pulled  up  on  the  embank- 

19 


The  Incarnation  of 

mint  av  the  line  where  the  coo- 
lies were  pilin'  mud.  There  was 
a  matther  av  two  thousand  coo- 
lies on  that  line  —  you  remimber 
that.  Prisintly  a  bell  rang,  an' 
they  throops  off  to  a  big  pay- 
shed.  "  Where  's  the  white  man 
in  charge?"  says  I  to  my  kyart- 
driver.  "  In  the  shed,"  says  he, 
"engaged  on  a  riffle."  —  "A 
fwhat?"  sez  I.  "Riffle,"  sez  he. 
"You  take  ticket.  He  take 
money.  You  get  nothin'."  — 
"  Oh !  "  sez  I,  "  that 's  fwhat  the 
shuperior  an'  cultivated  man  calls 
a  raffle,  me  misbeguided  child 
av  darkness  an'  sin.  Lead  on  to 
that  raffle,  though  fwhat  the 
mischief  'tis   doin   so    far   away 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

from  uts  home  —  which  is  the 
charity-bazaar  at  Christmas,  an' 
the  colonel's  wife  grinnin'  be- 
hind the  tea-table  —  is  more  than 
I  know."  Wid  that  I  wint  to 
the  shed  an'  found  't  was  pay-day 
among  the  coolies.  Their  wages 
was  on  a  table  forninst  a  big, 
fine,  red  buck  av  a  man  —  sivun 
fut  high,  four  fut  wide,  an'  three 
fut  thick,  wid  a  fist  on  him  like 
a  corn-sack.  He  was  payin'  the 
coolies  fair  an'  easy,  but  he  wud 
ask  each  man  if  he  wud  raffle 
that  month,  an'  each  man  sez. 
"Yes,"  av  course.  Thin  he  wud 
deduct  from  their  wages  accordin'. 
Whin  all  was  paid,  he  filled  an 
ould  cigar-box  full  av  gun-wads 


21 


The  Incarnation  of 

an'  scatthered  ut  among  the  coo- 
lies. They  did  not  take  much 
joy  av  that  performance,  an' 
small  wondher.  A  man  close 
to  me  picks  up  a  black  gun-wad 
an'  sings  out,  "  I  have  ut."  — 
"  Good  may  ut  do  you,"  sez  I. 
The  coolie  wint  forward  to  this 
big,  fine,  red  man,  who  threw 
a  cloth  off  av  the  most  sumpshus, 
jooled,  enamelled  an'  variously 
bedivilled  sedan-chair  I  iver  saw.' 

*  Sedan-chair  !  Put  your  'ead 
in  a  bag.  That  was  a  palanquin. 
Don't  yer  know  a  palanquin 
when  you  see  it  ? '  said  Ortheris 
with  great  scorn. 

*  I  chuse  to  call  ut  sedan-chair, 
an'  chair  ut  shall  be,  little  man,' 

22 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

continued  the  Irishman.  *  'T  was 
a  most  amazin'  chair  —  all  lined 
wid  pink  silk  an'  fitted  wid  red 
silk  curtains.  "Here  ut  is,"  sez 
the  red  man.  "Here  ut  is," 
sez  the  coolie,  an'  he  grinned 
weakly-ways.  "  Is  ut  any  use 
to  you  ? "  sez  the  red  man. 
"  No,"  sez  the  coolie ;  "  I  'd 
like  to  make  a  presint  av  ut  to 
you."  —  "I  am  graciously  pleased 
to  accept  that  same,"  sez  the  red 
man ;  an'  at  that  all  the  coolies 
cried  aloud  in  fwhat  was  mint 
for  cheerful  notes,  an'  wint  back 
to  their  diggin',  lavin'  me  alone 
in  the  shed.  The  red  man  saw 
me,  an'  his  face  grew  blue  on  his 
big  fat  neck.  "  Fwhat  d'  you 
23 


The  Incarnation  of 

want  here?"  sez  he.  "Standin'- 
room  an'  no  more,"  sez  I,  "  on- 
less  it  may  be  fwhat  ye  niver  had, 
an'  that  's  manners,  ye  rafflin' 
ruffian,"  for  I  was  not  goin'  to 
have  the  Service  throd  upon. 
"  Out  of  this,"  sez  he.  "  I  'm 
in  charge  av  this  section  av  con- 
struction." —  "  I  'm  in  charge  av 
mesilf,"  sez  I,  "  an'  it 's  Hke  I 
will  stay  a  while.  D'  ye  raffle 
much  in  these  parts  ?  "  — 
"  Fwhat 's  that  to  you  ?  "  sez  he. 
"  Nothin',"  sez  I,  "but  a  great 
dale  to  you,  for  begad  I  'm 
thinkin'  you  get  the  full  half  av 
your  revenue  from  that  sedan- 
chair.  Is  ut  always  raffled  so?"  I 
sez,  an'wid  that  I  wint  to  a  coolie 
24 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

to  ask  questions.  Bhoys,  that 
man's  name  is  Dearsley,  an'  he  's 
been  rafflin'  that  ould  sedan-chair 
monthly  this  matther  av  nine 
months.  Ivry  cooUe  on  the 
section  takes  a  ticket  —  or  he 
gives  'em  the  go  —  wanst  a 
month  on  pay-day.  Ivry  cooHe 
that  wins  ut  gives  ut  back  to 
him,  for  't  is  too  big  to  carry 
away,  an'  he  'd  sack  the  man 
that  thried  to  sell  ut.  That 
Dearsley  has  been  makin'  the 
rowlin'  wealth  av  Roshus  by  ne- 
farious rafflin'.  Think  av  the 
burnin'  shame  to  the  sufFerin' 
coolie-man  that  the  army  in 
Injia  are  bound  to  protect  an* 
nourish  in  their  bosoms  !  Two 
25 


The  Incarnation  of 

thousand  coolies  defrauded  wanst 
a  month ! ' 

*  Dom  t'  coolies.  Has 't  gotten 
t'  cheer,  man?'   said  Learoyd. 

*  Hould  on.  Havin'  onearthed 
this  amazin'  an'  stupendjus  fraud 
committed  by  the  man  Dearsley, 
I  hild  a  council  av  war ;  he 
thryin'  all  the  time  to  sejuce  me 
into  a  fight  wid  opprobrious  lan- 
guage. That  sedan-chair  niver 
belonged  by  right  to  any  fore- 
man av  coolies.  'Tis  a  king's 
chair  or  a  quane's.  There's  gold 
on  ut  an'  silk  an'  all  manner  av 
trapesemjnts.  Bhoys,  't  is  not  for 
me  to  countenance  any  sort  av 
wrong-doin'  —  me  bein'  the  ould 

man  — but —  anyway  he  has  had 
26 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

ut  nine  months,  an'  he  dare  not 
make  throuble  av  ut  was  taken 
from  him.  Five  miles  away,  or 
ut  may  be  six ' 

There  was  a  long  pause,  and 
the  jackals  howled  merrily.  Lea- 
royd  bared  one  arm,  and  con- 
templated it  in  the  moonlight. 
Then  he  nodded  partly  to  him- 
self and  partly  to  his  friends. 
Ortheris  wriggled  with  suppressed 
emotion. 

*I  thought  ye  wud  see  the 
reasonableness  av  ut,'  said  Mul- 
vaney. *  I  made  bould  to  say  as 
much  to  the  man  before.  He 
was  for  a  direct  front  attack  — 
fut,  horse,  an'  guns — an'  all  for 
nothin',  seein'  that  I  had  no 
27 


The  Incarnation  of 

thransport  to  convey  the  machine 
away.  "I  will  not  argue  wid 
you/*  sez  I,  "  this  day,  but  sub- 
sequintly.  Mister  Dearsley,  me 
rafflin'  jool,  we  talk  ut  out 
lengthways.  'T  is  no  good 
policy  to  swindle  the  naygur  av 
his  hard-earned  emolumints,  an' 
by  presint  informashin'  "  —  't  was 
the  kyart  man  that  tould  me  — 
**  ye  've  been  perpethrating  that 
same  for  nine  months.  But  I  'm 
a  just  man,"  sez  I,  **  an'  over- 
lookin'  the  presumpshin  that 
yondher  settee  wid  the  gilt  top 
was  not  come  by  honust  " — at 
that  he  turned  sky-green,  so  I 
knew  things  was  more  thrue 
than    tellable  —  "  not    come     by 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

honust,  I  'm  willin'  to  compound 
the     felony     for     this     month's 


winnin's."  ' 


*  Ah  !  Ho  ! '  from  Learoyd 
and  Orthcris. 

*  That  man  Dearsley  's  rushin' 
on  his  fate,'  continued  Mulvaney, 
solemnly  wagging  his  head.  *  All 
Hell  had  no  name  bad  enough 
for  me  that  tide.  Faith,  he 
called  me  a  robber !  Me  !  that 
was  savin'  him  from  continuin' 
in  his  evil  ways  widout  a  remon- 
strincc — an'  to  a  man  av  con- 
science a  rcmonstrince  may  change 
the  chune  av  his  life.  "  'T  is  not 
for  me  to  argue,"  sez  I,  "  fwhat- 
ever  ye  are,  Mister  Dearsley,  but, 
by  my  hand,  I  '11  take  away  the 

29 


The  Incarnation  of 

temptation  for  you  that  lies  in 
that  sedan-chair."  —  "  You  will 
have  to  fight  me  for  ut,"  sez  he, 
"  for  well  I  know  you  will  never 
dare  make  report  to  any  one." 
—  "Fight  I  will,"  sez  I,  "but 
not  this  day,  for  I  'm  rejuced  for 
wantav  nourishment." — "Ye 're 
an  ould  bould  hand,"  sez  he, 
sizin'  me  up  an'  down ;  "  an'  a 
jool  av  a  fight  we  will  have. 
Eat  now  an'  dhrink,  an'  go  your 
way."  Wid  that  he  gave  me 
some  hump  an'  whisky  —  good 
whisky  —  an'  we  talked  av  this 
an'  that  the  while.  "It  goes 
hard  on  me  now,"  sez  I,  wipin' 
my  mouth,  "  to  confiscate  that 
piece  av  furniture,  but  justice  is 
30 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

justice."  —  "  Ye  've  not  got  ut 
yet,"  sez  he;  "there's  the  fight 
between."  —  "  There  is,"  sez  I, 
"an'  a  good  fight.  Ye  shall 
have  the  pick  av  the  best  quality 
in  my  rigimint  for  the  dinner 
you  have  given  this  day."  Thin 
I  came  hot-foot  to  you  two. 
Hould  your  tongue,  the  both. 
'Tis  this  way.  To-morrow  we 
three  will  go  there  an'  he  shall 
have  his  pick  betune  me  an'  Jock. 
Jock  's  a  deceivin'  fighter,  for  he 
is  all  fat  to  the  eye,  an'  he  moves 
slow.  Now  I  'm  all  beef  to  the 
look,  an'  I  move  quick.  By  my 
reckonin'  the  Dearsley  man  won't 
take  me  ;  so  me  an'  Orth'ris  '11 
see  fair  play.  Jock,  I  tell  you, 
31 


The  Incarnation  of 

't  will  be  big  fightin' —  whipped, 
wid  the  cream  above  the  jam. 
Afther  the  business  'twill  take  a 
good  three  av  us  —  Jock  '11  be 
very  hurt  —  to  haul  away  that 
sedan-chair.' 

*  Palanquin.'  This  from  Or- 
theris. 

*  Fwhatever  ut  is,  we  must  have 
ut.  'T  is  the  only  sellin'  piece  av 
property  widin  reach  that  we  can 
get  so  cheap.  An'  fwhat  's  a  fight 
afther  all  ?  He  has  robbed  the 
naygur-man,  dishonust.  We  rob 
him  honust  for  the  sake  av  the 
whisky  he  gave  me.' 

*  But  wot  '11  we  do  with  the 
bloomin'  article  when  we  've  got 
it  ?     Them  palanquins  are  as  big 

32 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

as  'ouses,  an'  uncommon  'ard  to 
sell,  as  McCleary  said  when  ye 
stole  the  sentry-box  from  the 
Curragh.' 

*  Who  's  goin'  to  do  t'  fightin'  ? ' 
said  Learoyd,  and  Ortheris  sub- 
sided. The  three  returned  to 
barracks  without  a  word.  Mul- 
vaney's  last  argument  clinched  the 
matter.  This  palanquin  was  prop- 
erty, vendible,  and  to  be  attained 
in  the  simplest  and  least  embar- 
rassing fashion.  It  would  even- 
tually become  beer.  Great  was 
Mulvaney. 

Next  afternoon  a  procession  of 
three  formed  itself  and  disappeared 
into  the  scrub  in  the  direction  of 
the  new  railway   line.     Learoyd 

3  33 


The  Incarnation  of 

alone  was  without  care,  for  Mul- 
vaney  dived  darkly  into  the  future, 
and  little  Ortheris  feared  the  un- 
known. What  befell  at  that  in- 
terview in  the  lonely  pay-shed  by 
the  side  of  the  half-built  embank- 
ment, only  a  few  hundred  coolies 
know,  and  their  tale  is  a  confus- 
ing one,  running  thus  — 

*We  were  at  work.  Three 
men  in  red  coats  came.  They 
saw  the  Sahib  —  Dearsley  Sahib. 
They  made  oration;  and  notice- 
ably the  small  man  among  the 
red-coats.  Dearsley  Sahib  also 
made  oration,  and  used  many  very 
strong  words.  Upon  this  talk 
they  departed  together  to  an  open 
space,  and  there  the  fat  man  in 
34 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

the  red  coat  fought  with  Dearsley 
Sahib  after  the  custom  of  white 
men  —  with  his  hands,  making 
no  noise,  and  never  at  all  pulling 
Dearsley  Sahib's  hair.  Such  of 
us  as  were  not  afraid  beheld  these 
things  for  just  so  long  a  time  as  a 
man  needs  to  cook  the  mid-day 
meal.  The  small  man  in  the  red 
coat  had  possessed  himself  of 
Dearsley  Sahib's  watch.  No,  he 
did  not  steal  that  watch.  He 
held  it  in  his  hand,  and  at  certain 
seasons  made  outcry,  and  the 
twain  ceased  their  combat,  which 
was  like  the  combat  of  young 
bulls  in  spring.  Both  men  were 
soon  all  red,  but  Dearsley  Sahib 
was  much  more  red  than  the 
35 


The  Incarnation  of 

other.  Seeing  this,  and  fearing 
for  his  life — because  we  greatly- 
loved  him  —  some  fifty  of  us  made 
shift  to  rush  upon  the  red-coats. 
But  a  certain  man  —  very  black 
as  to  the  hair,  and  in  no  way  to 
be  confused  with  the  small  man, 
or  the  fat  man  who  fought  —  that 
man,  we  affirm,  ran  upon  us,  and 
of  us  he  embraced  some  ten  or 
fifty  in  both  arms,  and  beat  our 
heads  together,  so  that  our  livers 
turned  to  water,  and  we  ran  away. 
It  is  not  good  to  interfere  in  the 
fightings  of  white  men.  After 
that  Dearsley  Sahib  fell  and  did 
not  rise,  these  men  jumped  upon 
his  stomach  and  despoiled  him  of 
all  his  money,  and  attempted  to 
36 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

fire  the  pay-shed,  and  departed- 
Is  it  true  that  Dearsley  Sahib 
makes  no  complaint  of  these  lat- 
ter things  having  been  done  ?  We 
were  senseless  with  fear,  and  do 
not  at  all  remember.  There  was 
no  palanquin  near  the  pay-shed. 
What  do  we  know  about  palan- 
quins? Is  it  true  that  Dearsley 
Sahib  does  not  return  to  this 
place,  on  account  of  his  sickness, 
for  ten  days?  This  is  the  fault 
of  those  bad  men  in  the  red  coats, 
who  should  be  severely  punished ; 
for  Dearsley  Sahib  is  both  our 
father  and  mother,  and  we  love 
him  much.  Yet,  if  Dearsley 
Sahib  does  not  return  to  this  place 
at  all,  we  will  speak  the  truth. 
37 


The  Incarnation  of 

There  was  a  palanquin,  for  the 
up-keep  of  which  we  were  forced 
to  pay  nine-tenths  of  our  monthly 
wage.  On  such  mulctings  Dears- 
ley  Sahib  allowed  us  to  make 
obeisance  to  him  before  the  pal- 
anquin. What  could  we  do  ?  We 
were  poor  men.  He  took  a  full 
half  of  our  wages.  Will  the  Gov- 
ernment repay  us  those  moneys  ? 
Those  three  men  in  red  coats  bore 
the  palanquin  upon  their  shoulders 
and  departed.  All  the  money  that 
Dearsley  Sahib  had  taken  from  us 
was  in  the  cushions  of  that  palan- 
quin. Therefore  they  stole  it. 
Thousands  of  rupees  v/ere  there 
—  all  our  money.  It  was  our 
bank-box,  to  fill  which  we  cheer- 
38 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

fully  contributed  to  Dearsley  Sahib 
three-sevenths  of  our  monthly 
wage.  Why  does  the  white 
man  look  upon  us  with  the  eye 
of  disfavour  ?  Before  God,  there 
was  a  palanquin,  and  now  there 
is  no  palanquin  ;  and  if  they  send 
the  police  here  to  make  inquisi- 
tion, we  can  only  say  that  there 
never  has  been  any  palanquin. 
Why  should  a  palanquin  be  near 
these  works  ?  We  are  poor  men, 
and  we  know  nothing.' 

Such  is  the  simplest  version  of 
the  simplest  story  connected  with 
the  descent  upon  Dearsley.  From 
the  lips  of  the  coolies  I  received 
it.  Dearsley  himself  was  in  no 
condition   to   say    anything,    and 

Z9 


The  Incarnation  of 

Mulvaney  preserved  a  massive 
silence,  broken  only  by  the  occa- 
sional licking  of  the  lips.  He  had 
seen  a  fight  so  gorgeous  that  even 
his  power  of  speech  was  taken 
from  him.  I  respected  that  re- 
serve until,  three  days  after  the 
affair,  I  discovered  in  a  disused 
stable  in  my  quarters  a  palanquin 
of  unchastened  splendour  —  evi- 
dently in  past  days  the  litter  of  a 
queen.  The  pole  whereby  it 
swung  between  the  shoulders  of 
the  bearers  was  rich  with  the 
painted  papier-mache  of  Cashmere. 
The  shoulder-pads  were  of  yellow 
silk.  The  panels  of  the  litter 
itself  were  ablaze  with  the  loves 
of  all  the  gods  and  goddesses  of 
40 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

the  Hindu  Pantheon  —  lacquer 
on  cedar.  The  cedar  sHding  doors 
were  fitted  with  hasps  of  trans- 
lucent Jaipur  enamel  and  ran  in 
grooves  shod  with  silver.  The 
cushions  were  of  brocaded  Delhi 
silk,  and  the  curtains  which  once 
hid  any  glimpse  of  the  beauty  of 
the  king's  palace  were  stiff  with 
gold.  Closer  investigation  showed 
that  the  entire  fabric  was  every- 
where rubbed  and  discoloured  by 
time  and  wear  ;  but  even  thus  it 
was  sufficiently  gorgeous  to  de- 
serve housing  on  the  threshold  of 
a  royal  zenana.  I  found  no  fault 
with  it,  except  that  it  was  in  my 
stable.  Then,  trying  to  lift  it  by 
the  silver-shod  shoulder  pole,  I 
41 


The  Incarnation  of 

laughed.  The  road  from  Dears- 
ley's  pay-shed  to  the  cantonment 
was  a  narrow  and  uneven  one, 
and,  traversed  by  three  very 
inexperienced  palanquin-bearers, 
one  of  whom  was  sorely  battered 
about  the  head,  must  have  been  a 
path  of  torment.  Still  I  did  not 
recognize  the  right  of  the  three 
musketeers    to    turn    me    into    a 

*  fence  '  for  stolen  property. 

*  I  'm  askin'  you  to  warehouse 
ut,'  said  Mulvaney  when  he  was 
brought  to  consider  the  question. 

*  There's  no  steal  in  ut.  Dearsley 
tould  us  we  cud  have  ut  if  we 
fought.  Jock  fought  —  an',  oh, 
sorr,  when  the  throuble  was  at 
uts  finest  an'   Jock  was   bleedin' 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

like  a  stuck  pig,  an*  little  Orth'ris 
was  shquealin'  on  one  leg  chewin' 
big  bites  out  av  Dearsley's  watch, 
I  wud  ha'  given  my  place  at  the 
fight  to  have  had  you  see  wan 
round.  He  tuk  Jock,  as  I  sus- 
picioned  he  would,  and  Jock  was 
deceptive.     Nine  roun's  they  were 

even  matched,  an'  at  the  tenth 

About  that  palanquin  now. 
There  's  not  the  least  throuble  in 
the  world,  or  we  wud  not  ha* 
brought  ut  here.  You  will  ond- 
herstand  that  the  Queen  —  God 
bless  her  !  —  does  not  reckon  for 
a  privit  soldier  to  kape  elephints 
an'  palanquins  an'  sich  in  barricks. 
Afther  we  had  dhragged  ut  down 
from  Dearsley's  through  that  cruel 

43 


The  Incarnation  of 

scrub  that  near  broke  Orth'ris's 
heart,  we  set  ut  in  the  ravine  for 
a  night ;  an'  a  thief  av  a  porcu- 
pine an'  a  civet-cat  av  a  jackal 
roosted  in  ut,  as  well  we  knew 
in  the  mornin'.  I  put  ut  to  you, 
sorr,  is  an  elegint  palanquin,  fit 
for  the  princess,  the  natural  abidin' 
place  av  all  the  vermin  in  canton- 
mints  ?  We  brought  ut  to  you 
afther  dhark,  and  put  ut  in  your 
shtable.  Do  not  let  your  con- 
science prick.  Think  of  the 
rejoicin'  men  in  the  pay-shed 
yonder — lookin'  at  Dearsley  wid 
his  head  tied  up  in  a  towel  — 
an'  well  knowin'  that  they  can 
draw  their  pay  ivry  month  wid- 
out    stoppages   for   riffles.     Indi- 

44 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

rectly,  sorr,  you  have  rescued  from 
an  onprincipled  son  av  a  night- 
hawk  the  peasanthry  av  a  nu- 
merous village.  An'  besides,  w^ill 
I  let  that  sedan-chair  rot  on  our 
hands  ?  Not  I.  'T  is  not  every 
day  a  piece  av  pure  joolry  comes 
into  the  market.  There  's  not  a 
king  w^idin  these  forty  miles*  — 
he  v^aved  his  hand  round  the 
dusty  horizon  —  *  not  a  king  w^ud 
not  be  glad  to  buy  ut.  Some  day 
meself,  vv^hin  I  have  leisure,  I  '11 
take  ut  up  along  the  road  an' 
dishpose  av  ut.' 

*  How  ?  '  said  I,  for  I  knew 
the  man  was  capable  of  anything. 

*Get  into  ut,  av  coorse,  and 
keep  wan  eye  open  through  the 

45 


The  Incarnation  of 

curtains.  Whin  I  see  a  likely 
man  av  the  native  persuasion,  I 
will  descind  blushin'  from  my 
canopy  and  say,  "Buy  a  palan- 
quin, ye  black  scutt  ? "  I  will 
have  to  hire  four  men  to  carry 
me  first,  though  ;  and  that 's  im- 
possible till  next  pay-day.' 

Curiously  enough,  Learoyd, 
who  had  fought  for  the  prize, 
and  in  the  winning  secured  the 
highest  pleasure  life  had  to  offer 
him,  was  altogether  disposed  to 
undervalue  it,  while  Orthcris 
openly  said  it  would  be  better  to 
break  the  thing  up.  Dearsley, 
he  argued,  might  be  a  many- 
sided    man,    capable,    despite    his 

mag»iiicent  fighting  qualities,   of 
46 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

setting  in  motion  the  machinery 
of  the  civil  law  —  a  thing  much 
abhorred  by  the  soldier.  Under 
any  circumstances  their  fun  had 
come  and  passed  ;  the  next  pay- 
day was  close  at  hand,  when  there 
would  be  beer  for  all.  Where- 
fore longer  conserve  the  painted 
palanquin  ? 

^'  A  first-class  rifle-shot  an'  a 
good  little  man  av  your  inches 
you  are,'  said  Mulvaney.  'But 
you  niver  had  a  head  worth  a 
soft-boiled  egg.  T  is  me  has  to 
lie  awake  av  nights  schamin' 
an'  plottin'  for  the  three  av  us. 
Orth'ris,  me  son,  't  is  no  matther 
av  a  few  gallons  av  beer — no, 
nor  twenty  gallons  —  but  tubs  an' 

47 


The  Incarnation  of 

vats  an'  firkins  in  that  sedan-chair. 
Who  ut  was,  an'  what  ut  was,  an' 
how  ut  got  there,  we  do  not  know  ; 
but  I  know  in  my  bones  that  you 
an'  me  an'  Jock  wid  his  sprained 
thumb  will  get  a  fortune  thereby. 
Lave  me  alone,  an'  let  me  think.' 

Meantime  the  palanquin  stayed 
in  my  stall,  the  key  of  which  was 
in  Mulvaney's  hands. 

Pay-day  came,  and  with  it  beer. 
It  was  not  in  experience  to  hope 
that  Mulvaney,  dried  by  four 
weeks'  drought,  would  avoid  ex- 
cess. Next  morning  he  and  the 
palanquin  had  disappeared.  He 
had  taken  the  precaution  of  get- 
ting three  days'   leave    *to   see  a 

friend  on  the   railway,'   and  the 
48 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

colonel,  well  knowing  that  the 
seasonal  outburst  was  near,  and 
hoping  it  would  spend  its  force 
beyond  the  limits  of  his  jurisdic- 
tion, cheerfully  gave  him  all  he 
demanded.  At  this  point  Mul- 
vaney's  history,  as  recorded  in  the 
mess-room,  stopped. 

Ortheris  carried  it  not  much 
further.  *  No,  'e  was  n't  drunk,' 
said  the  little  man  loyally,  *  the 
liquor  was  no  more  than  feelin' 
its  way  round  inside  of  'im ;  but 
'e  went  an'  filled  that  'ole 
bloomin'  palanquin  with  bottles 
'fore  'e  went  off.  'E  's  gone  an' 
'ired  six  men  to  carry  'im,  an'  I 
'ad  to  'elp  'im  into  'is  nupshal 
couch,    'cause    'e    would  n't    'ear 

4  49 


The  Incarnation  of 

reason.  'E  's  gone  off  in  'is  shirt 
an'  trousies,  swearin'  tremenjus 
—  gone  down  the  road  in  the 
palanquin,  wavin'  'is  legs  out  o' 
windy.' 

*  Yes,'  said  I,  *  but  where  ? ' 

*  Now  you  arx  me  a  question. 
'E  said  'e  was  goin'  to  sell  that 
palanquin,  but  from  observations 
what  happened  when  I  was 
stuffin'  'im  through  the  door,  I 
fancy  'e  's  gone  to  the  new  em- 
bankment to  mock  at  Dearsley. 
'Soon  as  Jock's  off  duty  I'm 
goin'  there  to  see  if  'e  's  safe  — 
not  Mulvaney,  but  t'  other  man. 
My  saints,  but  I  pity  'im  as  'elps 
Terence  out  o'  the  palanquin 
when  'e's  once  fair  drunk  !  ' 

5^ 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

*  He  '11  come  back  without 
harm,'  I  said. 

*  'Corse  'e  will.  On'y  ques- 
tion is,  what  '11  'e  be  doin'  on 
the  road  ?  Killing  Dearsley,  like 
as  not.  'E  should  n't  'a  gone 
without  Jock  or  me.' 

Reinforced  by  Learoyd,  Or- 
theris  sought  the  foreman  of  the 
coolie-gang.  Dearsley's  head 
was  still  embellished  with  towels. 
Mulvaney,  drunk  or  sober,  would 
have  struck  no  man  in  that  con- 
dition, and  Dearsly  indignantly 
denied  that  he  would  have  taken 
advantage  of  the  intoxicated 
brave. 

*  I  had  my  pick  o'  you  two,' 
he    explained  to    Learoyd,    *and 

51 


The  Incarnation  of 

you  got  my  palanquin  —  not  be- 
fore I  'd  made  my.  profit  on  it. 
Why'd  I  do  harm  when  every- 
thing 's  settled  ?  Your  man  did 
come  here  —  drunk  as  Davy's 
sow  on  a  frosty  night  —  came 
a-purpose  to  mock  me  — stuck  his 
head  out  of  the  door  an*  called 
me  a  crucified  hodman.  I  made 
him  drunker,  an'  sent  him  along. 
But  I  never  touched  him.' 

To  these  things  Learoyd,  slow 
to  perceive  the  evidences  of  sin- 
cerity, answered  only,  '  If  owt 
comes  to  Mulvaney  'long  o'  you, 
I  '11  gripple  you,  clouts  or  no 
clouts  on  your  ugly  head,  an'  I  '11 
draw  t'  throat  twistyways,  man. 
See  there  now.' 
53 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

The  embassy  removed  itself, 
and  Dearsley,  the  battered, 
laughed  alone  over  his  supper 
that  evening. 

Three  days  passed  —  a  fourth 
and  a  fifth.  The  week  drew  to 
a  close  and  Mulvaney  did  not 
return.  He,  his  royal  palanquin, 
and  his  six  attendants,  had  van- 
ished into  air.  A  very  large  and 
very  tipsy  soldier,  his  feet  stick- 
ing out  of  the  litter  of  a  reigning 
princess,  is  not  a  thing  to  travel 
along  the  ways  without  com- 
ment. Yet  no  man  of  all  the 
country  round  had  seen  any  such 
wonder.  He  was,  and  he  was 
not  ;  and  Learoyd  suggested  the 
immediate  smashment  of  Dears- 
53 


The  Incarnation  of 

ley  as  a  sacrifice  to  his  ghost. 
Ortheris  insisted  that  all  was  well, 
and  in  the  light  of  past  experi- 
ence his  hopes  seemed  reasonable. 

*When  Mulvaney  goes  up  the 
road,'  said  he,  *e's  like  to  go  a 
very  long  ways  up,  specially 
when  'e  's  so  blue  drunk  as  'e  is 
now.  But  what  gits  me  is  'is 
not  bein'  'eard  of  pullin'  wool  ofF 
the  niggers  somewheres  about. 
That  don't  look  good.  The 
drink  must  ha'  died  out  in  'im 
by  this,  unless  'e  's  broke  a  bank, 
an'  then  —  Why  don't  'e  come 
back  ?  'E  did  n't  ought  to  ha' 
gone  off  without  us." 

Even   Ortheris's  heart  sank  at 
the  end  of  the  seventh  day,  for 
54 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

half  the  regiment  were  out  scour- 
ing  the  countryside,  and  Learoyd 
had  been  forced  to  fight  two  men 
who  hinted  openly  that  Mulvaney 
had  deserted.  To  do  him  justice, 
the  colonel  laughed  at  the  notion, 
even  when  it  was  put  forward  by 
his  much-trusted  adjutant. 

*  Mulvaney  would  as  soon  think 
of  deserting  as  you  would,'  said 
he.  *  No;  he  's  either  fallen  into 
a  mischief  among  the  villagers  — 
and  yet  that  is  n't  likely,  for  he  'd 
blarney  himself  out  of  the  Pit ;  or 
else  he  is  engaged  on  urgent  pri- 
vate affairs  —  some  stupendous 
devilment  that  we  shall  hear  of  at 
mess  after  it  has  been  the  round 
of  the  barrack-rooms.  The  worst 
55 


The  Incarnation  of 

of  it  is  that  I  shall  have  to  give 
him  twenty  eight  days'  confine- 
ment at  least  for  being  absent 
without  leave,  just  when  I  most 
want  him  to  lick  the  new  batch 
of  recruits  into  shape.  I  never 
knew  a  man  who  could  put  a 
polish  on  young  soldiers  as  quickly 
as  Mulvaney  can.  How  does  he 
do  it?' 

*  With  blarney  and  the  buckle- 
end  of  a  belt,  sir,'  said  the  adju- 
tant. *He  is  worth  a  couple  of 
non-commissioned  officers  when 
we  are  dealing  with  an  Irish 
draft,  and  the  London  lads  seem 
to  adore  him.  The  worst  of  it 
is  that  if  he  goes  to  the  cells  the 
other  two  are  neither  to  hold  nor 
56 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

to  bind  till  he  comes  out  again. 
I  believe  Ortheris  preaches  mu- 
tiny on  those  occasions,  and  I 
know  that  the  mere  presence  of 
Learoyd  mourning  for  Mulvaney 
kills  all  the  cheerfulness  of  his 
room.  The  sergeants  tell  me 
that  he  allows  no  man  to  laugh 
when  he  feels  unhappy.  They 
are  a  queer  gang.' 

*  For  all  that,  I  wish  we  had 
a  few  more  of  them.  I  like  a 
well-conducted  regiment,  but  these 
pasty-faced,  shifty-eyed,  mealy- 
mouthed  young  slouchers  from 
the  depot  worry  me  sometimes 
with  their  offensive  virtue.  They 
don't  seem  to  have  backbone 
enough  to  do  anything  but  play 
57 


The  Incarnation  of 

cards  and  prowl  round  the  mar- 
ried quarters.  I  believe  I  'd  for- 
give that  old  villain  on  the  spot 
if  he  turned  up  with  any  sort  of 
explanation  that  I  could  in  de- 
cency accept.' 

*Not  likely  to  be  much  diffi- 
culty about  that,  sir,'  said  the 
adjutant.  *  Mulvaney's  explana- 
tions are  only  one  degree  less 
wonderful  than  his  performances. 
They  say  that  when  he  was  in 
the  Black  Tyrone,  before  he 
came  to  us,  he  was  discovered  on 
the  banks  of  the  Liffey  trying  to 
sell  his  colonel's  charger  to  a 
Donegal  dealer  as  a  perfect  lady's 
hack.  Shackbolt  commanded  the 
Tyrone  then.' 

58 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

*  Shackbolt  must  have  had  apo- 
plexy at  the  thought  of  his  ramp- 
ing war-horses  answering  to  that 
description.  He  used  to  buy  un- 
backed devils,  and  tame  them  on 
some  pet  theory  of  starvation. 
What  did  Mulvaney  say  ? ' 

*  That  he  was  a  member  of 
the  Society  for  the  Prevention  of 
Cruelty  to  Animals,  anxious  to 
"  sell  the  poor  baste  where  he 
would  get  something  to  fill  out 
his  dimples."  Shackbolt  laughed, 
but  I  fancy  that  was  why  Mul-  ' 
vaney  exchanged  to  ours.' 

*  I  wish  he  were  back,'  said 
the  colonel ;  *  for  I  like  him  and 
believe  he  likes  me.' 

That    evening,    to    cheer    our 
59 


The  Incarnation  of 

souls,  Learoyd,  Ortheris,  and  I 
went  into  the  waste  to  smoke 
out  a  porcupine.  All  the  dogs 
attended,  but  even  their  clamour 
—  and  they  began  to  discuss  the 
shortcomings  of  porcupines  before 
they  left  cantonments  —  could 
not  take  us  out  of  ourselves.  A 
large,  low  moon  turned  the  tops 
of  the  plume-grass  to  silver,  and 
the  stunted  camelthorn  bushes  and 
sour  tamarisks  into  the  likenesses 
of  trooping  devils.  The  smell  of 
the  sun  had  not  left  the  earth, 
and  little  aimless  winds  blowing 
across  the  rose-gardens  to  the 
southward  brought  the  scent  of 
dried  roses  and  water.      Our  fire 

once  started,  and  the  dogs  craftily 

60 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

disposed  to  wait  the  dash  of  the 
porcupine,  we  climbed  to  the 
top  of  a  rain-scarred  hillock  of 
earth,  and  looked  across  the  scrub 
seamed  with  cattle  paths,  white 
with  the  long  grass,  and  dotted 
with  spots  of  level  pond-bottom, 
where  the  snipe  would  gather  in 
winter. 

*  This,'  said  Ortheris,  with  a 
sigh,  as  he  took  in  the  unkempt 
desolation  of  it  all,  *  this  is  san- 
guinary. This  is  unusually  san- 
guinary. Sort  o'  mad  country. 
Like  a  grate  when  the  fire  's  put 
out  by  the  sun.'  He  shaded  his 
eyes  against  the  moonlight.  *  An' 
there 's  a  loony  dancin*  in  the 
middle  of  it  all.  Quite  right. 
6i 


The  Incarnation  of 

I'd    dance    too    if  I    wasn't    so 
downheart.' 

There  pranced  a  Portent  in 
the  face  of  the  moon  —  a  huge 
and  ragged  spirit  of  the  waste, 
that  flapped  its  wings  from  afar. 
It  had  risen  out  of  the  earth ;  it 
was  coming  towards  us,  and  its 
outhne  was  never  twice  the  same. 
The  toga,  table-cloth,  or  dressing- 
gown,  whatever  the  creature 
wore,  took  a  hundred  shapes. 
Once  it  stopped  on  a  neighbour- 
ing mound  and  flung  all  its  legs 
and  arms  to  the  winds. 

*  My,  but  that  scarecrow  'as  got 
'em  bad  !  '  said  Ortheris.      *  Seems 
like  if  'e  comes  any  furder  we'll 
'ave  to  argify  with  'im.' 
62 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

Learoyd  raised  himself  from 
the  dirt  as  a  bull  clears  his  flanks 
of  the  wallow.  And  as  a  bull 
bellows,  so  he,  after  a  short  min- 
ute at  gaze,  gave  tongue  to  the 
stars. 

*  MULVAANEY  !     MuLVAANEY  ! 

A-hoo!' 

Oh  then  it  was  that  we  yelled, 
and  the  figure  dipped  into  the 
hollow,  till,  with  a  crash  of 
rending  grass,  the  lost  one  strode 
up  to  the  light  of  the  fire,  and 
disappeared  to  the  waist  in  a 
wave  of  joyous  dogs !  Then 
Learoyd  and  Ortheris  gave  greet- 
ing, bass  and  falsetto  together, 
both  swallowing  a  lump  in  the 
throat. 

63 


The  Incarnation  of 

*  You  damned  fool ! '  said  they, 
and  severally  pounded  him  with 
their  fists. 

*  Go  easy ! '  he  answered ;  wrap- 
ping a  huge  arm  round  each. 
*I  would  have  you  to  know  that 
I  am  a  god,  to  be  treated  as  such 
—  tho,'  by  my  faith,  I  fancy  I  've 
got  to  go  to  the  guard-room  just 
like  a  privit  soldier.' 

The  latter  part  of  the  sentence 
destroyed  the  suspicions  raised  by 
the  former.  Any  one  would 
have  been  justified  in  regarding 
Mulvaney  as  mad.  He  was  hat- 
less  and  shoeless,  and  his  shirt 
and  trousers  were  dropping  off 
him.  But  he  wore  one  won- 
drous garment  —  a  gigantic  cloak 
64 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

that  fell  from  collar  bone  to  heel 
—  of  pale  pink  silk,  wrought  all 
over  in  cunningest  needlework 
of  hands  long  since  dead,  with 
the  loves  of  the  Hindu  gods. 
The  monstrous  figures  leaped  in 
and  out  of  the  light  of  the  fire 
as  he  settled  the  folds  round 
him. 

Ortheris  handled  the  stuff  re- 
spectfully for  a  moment  while  I 
was  trying  to  remember  where 
I  had  seen  it  before.  Then  he 
screamed,  *What  'ave  you  done 
with  the  palanquin?  You're 
wearin'  the  linin'.' 

*  I  am,'  said  the  Irishman,  *  an* 
by  the  same  token  the  'broidery 
is  scrapin'  my  hide  off.  I  'vc 
5  65 


The  Incarnation  of 

lived  in  this  sumpshus  counter- 
pane for  four  days.  Me  son,  I 
begin  to  ondherstand  why  the 
naygur  is  no  use.  Widout  me 
boots,  an  me  trousies  Hke  an 
openwork  stocking  on  a  gyurl's 
leg  at  a  dance,  I  begin  to  feel 
like  a  naygur-man  —  all  fearful 
an'  timoreous.  Give  me  a  pipe 
an'  I'll  tell  on.' 

He  lit  a  pipe,  resumed  his 
grip  of  his  two  friends,  and 
rocked  to  and  fro  in  a  gale  of 
laughter. 

*  Mulvaney,'  said  Ortheris 
sternly,  *  't  aint  no  time  for 
laughin'.  You've  given  Jock  an' 
me  more  trouble  than  you  're 
worth.  You  'ave  been  absent 
66 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

without  leave  an'  you'll  go  into 
cells  for  that ;  an'  you  'ave  come 
back  disgustin'ly  dressed  an'  most 
improper  in  the  linin'  o'  that 
bloomin'  palanquin.  Instid  of 
which  you  laugh.  An'  we 
thought  you  was  dead  all  the 
time.' 

*  Bhoys,'  said  the  culprit,  still 
shaking  gently,  *  whin  I  've  done 
my  tale  you  may  cry  if  you  like, 
an'  little  Orth'ris  here  can  thram- 
ple  my  inside  out.  Ha'  done  an' 
listen.  My  performinces  have 
been  stupenjus  :  my  luck  has  been 
the  blessed  luck  av  the  British 
Army — an'  there's  no  betther 
than  that.  I  went  out  dhrunk 
an'  dhrinkin'  in  the  palanquin, 
67 


The  Incarnation  of 

and  I  have  come  back  a  pink 
god.  Did  any  of  you  go  to 
Dearsley  afther  my  time  was  up  ? 
He  was  at  the  bottom  of  ut  all.' 

*Ah  said  so/  murmured  Lea- 
royd.  *  To  morrow  ah '11  smash 
t'  face  in  upon  his  heead.' 

*  Ye  will  not.  Dearsley 's  a 
jool  av  a  man.  Afther  Ortheris 
had  put  me  into  the  palanquin 
an'  the  six  bearer-men  were 
gruntin'  down  the  road,  I  tuk 
thought  to  mock  Dearsley  for 
that  fight.  So  I  tould  thim,  "  Go 
to  the  embankmint,"  and  there, 
bein'  most  amazin'  full,  I  shtuck 
my  head  out  av  the  concern  an' 
passed  compliments  wid  Dearsley. 

I    must   ha'  miscalled  him   out- 
68 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

rageous,  for  whin  I  am  that  way 
the  power  av  the  tongue  comes 
on  me.  I  can  bare  remimber 
tellin'  him  that  his  mouth  opened 
endways  like  the  mouth  av  a 
skate,  which  was  thrue  afther 
Learoyd  had  handled  ut  ;  an'  I 
clear  remimber  his  takin'  no  man- 
ner nor  matter  av  offence,  but 
givin'  me  a  big  dhrink  of  beer. 
'Twas  the  beer  did  the  thrick, 
for  I  crawled  back  into  the  palan- 
quin, steppin'  on  me  right  ear 
wid  me  left  foot,  an'  thin  I  slept 
like  the  dead.  Wanst  I  half 
roused,  an'  begad  the  noise  in  my 
head  was  tremenjus  —  roarin'  and 
rattlin'  an'  poundin',  such  as  was 
quite  new  to  me.  "  Mother  av 
69 


The  Incarnation  of 

Mercy,'*  thinks  I,  "phwat  a  con- 
certina I  will  have  on  my  shoul- 
ders whin  I  wake !  "  An'  wid 
that  I  curls  mysilf  up  to  sleep  be- 
fore ut  should  get  hould  on  me. 
Bhoys,  that  noise  was  not  dhrink, 
't  was  the  rattle  av  a  thrain  !  ' 

There  followed  an  impressive 
pause. 

*  Yes,  he  had  put  me  on  a 
thrain  —  put  me,  palanquin  an' 
all,  an'  six  black  assassins  av  his 
own  coolies  that  was  in  his  nefa- 
rious confidence,  on  the  flat  av  a 
ballast-thruck,  an  we  were  rowlin' 
and  bowlin'  along  to  Benares. 
Glory  be  that  I  did  not  wake  up 
thin  an'  introjuce  mysilf  to  the 
coolies.  As  I  was  sayin',  I  slept 
70 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

for  the  betther  part  av  a  day  an' 
a  night.  But  remimber  you,  that 
that  man  Dearsley  had  packed 
me  off  on  wan  av  his  material- 
thrains  to  Benares,  all  for  to  make 
me  overstay  my  leave  an'  get  me 
into  the  cells.' 

The  explanation  was  an  emi- 
nently rational  one.  Benares  lay 
at  least  ten  hours  by  rail  from  the 
cantonments,  and  nothing  in  the 
world  could  have  saved  Mulvaney 
from  arrest  as  a  deserter  had  he 
appeared  there  in  the  apparel  of 
his  orgies.  Dearsley  had  not  for- 
gotten to  take  revenge.  Learoyd, 
drawing  back  a  little,  began  to 
place  soft  blows  over  selected  por- 
tions of  Mulvaney *s  body.  His 
71 


The  Incarnation  of 

thoughts  were  away  on  the  em- 
bankment, and  they  meditated 
evil  for  Dearsley.  Mulvaney 
continued  — 

*  Whin  I  was  full  awake  the 
palanquin  was  set  down  in  a  street, 
I  suspicioned,  for  I  cud  hear  peo- 
ple passin'  an'  talkin'.  But  I 
knew  well  I  was  far  from  home. 
There  is  a  queer  smell  upon 
our  cantonments  — a  smell  av 
dried  earth  and  brick  kilns  wid 
whiffs  av  cavalry  stable  litter. 
This  place  smelt  marigold  flowers 
an'  bad  water,  an'  wanst  somethin' 
alive  came  an'  blew  heavy  with 
his  muzzle  at  the  chink  av  the 
shutter.       "It's   in    a    village    I 

am,"  thinks  I  to  mysilf,  "  an'  the 

72 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

parochial  buffalo  is  investigatin' 
the  palanquin."  But  anyways  I 
had  no  desire  to  move.  Only  lie 
still  whin  you're  in  foreign  parts 
an'  the  standin'  luck  av  the  Brit- 
ish Army  will  carry  ye  through. 
That  is  an  epigram.  I  made 
ut. 

*  Thin  a  lot  av  whisperin' 
divils  surrounded  the  palanquin. 
"Take  ut  up,"  sez  wan  man. 
"  But  who  '11  pay  us  ?  "  sez 
another.  "  The  Maharanee's 
minister,  av  coorse,"  sez  the 
man.  "Oho!"  says  I  to  my- 
silf,  "  I  'm  a  quane  in  me  own 
right,  wid  a  minister  to  pay  me 
expenses.  I  '11  be  an  emperor  if 
I  lie  still  long  enough ;  but  this 
73 


The  Incarnation  of 

is  no  village  I  Ve  found."  I  lay 
quiet,  but  I  gummed  me  right 
eye  to  a  crack  av  the  shutters, 
an'  I  saw  that  the  whole  street 
was  crammed  wid  palanquins  an' 
horses,  an'  a  sprinklin'  av  naked 
priests  all  yellow  powder  an' 
tigers'  tails.  But  I  may  tell  you, 
Orth'ris,  an'  you,  Learoyd,  that 
av  all  the  palanquins  ours  was 
the  most  imperial  an'  magnifi- 
cent. Now  a  palanquin  means 
a  native  lady  all  the  world  over, 
except  whin  a  soldier  av  the 
Quane  happens  to  be  takin'  a 
ride.  "  Women  an'  priests  !  " 
sez  I.  "  Your  father's  son  is  in 
the  right  pew  this  time,  Terence. 
There  will  be  proceedin's."  Six 
74 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

black  divils  in  pink  muslin  tuk 
up  the  palanquin,  an'  oh !  but 
the  rowlin*  an'  the  rockin'  made 
me  sick.  Thin  we  got  fair 
jammed    among    the    palanquins 

—  not   more  than   fifty  av  them 

—  an'  we  grated  an'  bumped 
like  Queenstown  potato-smacks 
in  a  runnin'  tide.  I  cud  hear 
the  women  gigglin'  and  squirkin' 
in  their  palanquins,  but  mine  was 
the  royal  equipage.  They  made 
way  for  ut,  an',  begad,  the  pink 
muslin  men  o'  mine  were  howlin' 
"Room  for  the  Maharanee  av 
Gokral-Seetarun."  Do  you 
know  aught  av  the  lady,  sorr  ? ' 

'  Yes,'  said  I.      *  She  is  a  very 
estimable  old  queen  of  the  Cen- 
75 


The  Incarnation  of 

tral  Indian  States,  and  they  say- 
she  is  fat.  How  on  earth  could 
she  go  to  Benares  without  all  the 
city  knowing  her  palanquin  ?  ' 

'T  was  the  eternal  foolishness 
av  the  naygur-man.  They  saw 
the  palanquin  lying  loneful  an' 
forlornsome,  an'  the  beauty  av 
ut,  after  Dearsley's  men  had 
dhropped  ut  and  gone  away,  an' 
they  gave  ut  the  best  name  that 
occurred  to  thim.  Quite  right 
too.  For  aught  we  know  the 
ould  lady  was  thravellin'  incog 
—  like  me.  I  'm  glad  to  hear 
she  's  fat.  I  was  no  light  weight 
mysilf,  an'  my  men  were  mortial 
anxious    to    dhrop    me    under    a 

great  big  archway  promiscuously 
76 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

ornamented  wid  the  most  im- 
proper carvin's  an'  cuttin's  I 
iver  saw.  Begad !  they  made 
me  blush  —  Hke  a  —  like  a 
Maharanee.' 

'  The  temple  of  Prithi-Devi,' 
I  murmured,  remembering  the 
monstrous  horrors  of  that  sculp- 
tured archway  at  Benares. 

'Pretty  Devilskins,  savin'  your 
presence,  sorr  !  There  was 
nothin'  pretty  about  ut,  except 
me.  'T  was  all  half  dhark,  an' 
whin  the  coolies  left  they  shut  a 
big  black  gate  behind  av  us,  an' 
half  a  company  av  fat  yellow 
priests  began  pully-haulin'  the 
palanquins  into  a  dharker  place 
yet  —  a  big  stone  hall  full  av 
77 


The  Incarnation  of 

pillars,  an'  gods,  an'  incense,  an' 
all  manner  av  similar  thruck. 
The  gate  disconcerted  me,  for  I 
perceived  I  wud  have  to  go  for- 
ward to  get  out,  my  retreat  bein' 
cut  off.  By  the  same  token  a 
good  priest  makes  a  bad  palan- 
quin-coolie. Begad!  they  nearly 
turned  me  inside  out  draggin' 
the  palanquin  to  the  temple. 
Now  the  disposishin  av  the  forces 
inside  was  this  way.  The  Ma- 
haranee av  Gokral-Seetarun  — 
that  was  me — lay  by  the  favour 
av  Providence  on  the  far  left 
flank  behind  the  dhark  av  a 
pillar  carved  with  elephints' 
heads.  The  remainder  av  the 
palanquins  was  in  a  big  half 
78 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

circle  facing  in  to  the  biggest, 
fattest,  an'  most  amazin'  she-god 
that  iver  I  dreamed  av.  Her 
head  ran  up  into  the  black  above 
us,  an'  her  feet  stuck  out  in  the 
light  av  a  little  fire  av  melted 
butter  that  a  priest  was  feedin' 
out  av  a  butter-dish.  Thin  a 
man  began  to  sing  aft'  play  on 
somethin'  back  in  the  dhark,  an' 
't  was  a  queer  song.  Ut  made 
my  hair  lift  on  the  back  av  my 
neck.  Thin  the  doors  av  all  the 
palanquins  slid  back,  an'  the 
women  bundled  out.  I  saw 
what  I  '11  niver  see  again. 
'T  was  more  glorious  than 
thransformations  at  a  pantomime, 
for  they  was  in  pink  an'  blue  an' 
79 


The  Incarnation  of 

silver  an'  red  an'  grass  green,  wid 
di'monds  an'  im'ralds  an'  great 
red  rubies  all  over  thim.  But 
that  was  the  least  part  av  the 
glory.  O  bhoys,  they  were 
more  lovely  than  the  like  av 
any  loveliness  in  hiven  ;  ay,  their 
little  bare  feet  were  better  than 
the  white  hands  av  a  lord's  lady, 
an'  their  mouths  were  like  puck- 
ered roses,  an'  their  eyes  were 
bigger  an'  dharker  than  the  eyes 
av  any  livin'  women  I  've  seen. 
Ye  may  laugh,  but  I  'm  speakin 
truth.  I  niver  saw  the  like,  an' 
niver   I   will   again.' 

'Seeing  that  in  all  probability 
you  were  watching  the  wives  and 

daughters  of  most  of  the  kings  of 
80 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

India,  the  chances  are  that  you 
won't,'  I  said,  for  it  was  dawning 
on  me  that  Mulvaney  had  stum- 
bled upon  a  big  Queens'  Praying 
at  Benares. 

*I  niver  will,'  he  said  mourn- 
fully. *  That  sight  does  n't  come 
twist  to  any  man.  It  made  me 
ashamed  to  watch.  A  fat  priest 
knocked  at  my  door.  I  did  n't 
think  he  'd  have  the  insolince  to 
disturb  the  Maharanee  av  Gokral- 
Seetarun,  so  I  lay  still.  "  The 
old  cow  's  asleep,"  sez  he  to  an- 
other. "  Let  her  be,"  sez  that. 
"  'T  will  be  long  before  she  has  a 
calf!  "  I  might  ha'  known  before 
he  spoke  that  all  a  woman  prays 
for  in   Injia  —  an'   for    matter   o' 

6  8i 


The  Incarnation  of 

that  in  England  too  —  is  childher. 
That  made  me  more  sorry  I  'd 
come,  me  bein',  as  you  well 
know,  a  childless  man.' 

He  was  silent  for  a  moment, 
thinking  of  his  little  son,  dead 
many  years   ago. 

*They  prayed,  an'  the  butter- 
fires  blazed  up  an'  the  incense 
turned  everything  blue,  an'  be- 
tween that  an'  the  fires  the  women 
looked  as  tho'  they  were  all  ablaze 
an'  twinklin'.  They  took  hold 
av  the  she-god's  knees,  they  cried 
out  an'  they  threw  themsleves 
about,  an'  that  world-without- 
end-amen  music  was  dhrivin' 
thim  mad.  Mother  av  Hiven! 
how  they  cried,  an'  the  ould  she- 

83 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

god  grinnin'  above  thim  all  so 
scornful !  The  dhrink  was  dyin' 
out  in  me  fast,  an'  I  was  thinkin' 
harder  than  the  thoughts  wud  go 
through  my  head  —  thinkin'  how 
to  get  out,  an'  all  manner  of  non- 
sense as  well.  The  women  were 
rockin'  in  rows,  their  di'mond 
belts  clickin',  an'  the  tears  runnin' 
out  betune  their  hands,  an*  the 
lights  were  goin'  lower  an' 
dharker.  Thin  there  was  a  blaze 
like  lightnin'  from  the  roof,  an' 
that  showed  me  the  inside  av  the 
palanquin,  an'  at  the  end  where 
my  foot  was,  stood  the  livin'  spit 
an'  image  o'  myself  worked  on 
the  linin'.  This  man  here,  ut 
was.' 

83 


The  Incarnation  of 

He  hunted  in  the  folds  of  his 
pink  cloak,  ran  a  hand  under 
one,  and  thrust  into  the  firelight 
a  foot-long  embroidered  present- 
ment of  the  great  god  Krishna, 
playing  on  a  flute.  The  heavy 
jowl,  the  staring  eye,  and  the 
blue-black  moustache  of  the  god 
made  up  a  far-off  resemblance  to 
Mulvaney. 

*The  blaze  was  gone  in  a 
wink,  but  the  whole  schame  came 
to  me  thin.  I  believe  I  was  mad 
too.  I  slid  the  off-shutter  open 
an'  rowled  out  into  the  dhark 
behind  the  elephint-head  pillar, 
tucked  up  my  trousies  to  my 
knees,  slipped  off  my  boots  an* 
tuk  a  general  hould  av  all  the 
84 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

pink  linin'  av  the  palanquin. 
Glory  be,  ut  ripped  out  like  a 
woman's  dhriss  whin  you  tread 
on  ut  at  a  sergeants'  ball,  an'  a 
bottle  came  with  ut.  I  tuk  the 
bottle  an'  the  next  minut  I  was 
out  av  the  dhark  av  the  pillar, 
the  pink  linin'  wrapped  round  me 
most  graceful,  the  music  thun- 
derin'  like  kettle-drums,  an'  a 
could  draft  blowin'  round  my 
bare  legs.  By  this  hand  that  did 
ut,  I  was  Khrishna  tootlin'  on 
the  flute  —  the  god  that  the  rig'- 
mental  chaplain  talks  about.  A 
sweet  sight  I  must  ha'  looked.  I 
knew  my  eyes  were  big,  and  my 
face  was  wax-white,  an'  at  the 
worst  I  must  ha'  looked  like  a 
8s 


The  Incarnation  of 

ghost.  But  they  took  me  for  the 
livin'  god.  The  music  stopped, 
and  the  women  were  dead  dumb, 
an'  I  crooked  my  legs  like  a 
shepherd  on  a  china  basin,  an'  I 
did  the  ghost-waggle  with  my 
feet  as  I  had  done  ut  at  the  rig'- 
mental  theatre  many  times,  an'  I 
slid  acrost  the  width  av  that  tem- 
ple in  front  av  the  she-god  toot- 
lin  on  the  beer  bottle.' 

*  Wot  did  you  toot?'  de- 
manded Ortheris  the  practical. 

*  Me  ?  Oh  !  '  Mulvaney  sprang 
up,  suiting  the  action  to  the 
word,  and  sliding  gravely  in  front 
of  us,  a  dilapidated  but  imposing 
deity    in     the     half    light.       *  I 

sang  — 

86 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

Only  say 

You  '11  be  Mrs.  Brallaghan. 

Don't  say  nay, 

Charmin'  Judy  Callaghan. 

I  didn't  know  me  own  voice 
when  I  sang.  An'  oh !  'twas 
pitiful  to  see  the  women.  The 
darUn's  were  down  on  their 
faces.  Whin  I  passed  the  last 
wan  I  cud  see  her  poor  little 
fingers  workin'  one  in  another 
as  if  she  wanted  to  touch  my  feet. 
So  Idhrew  the  tail  av  this  pink 
overcoat  over  her  head  for  the 
greater  honour,  an'  I  slid  into 
the  dhark  on  the  other  side  av 
the  temple,  and  fetched  up  in 
the  arms  av  a  big  fat  priest.  All 
I  wanted  was  to  get  away  clear. 
87 


The  Incarnation  of 

So  I  tuk  him  by  his  greasy  throat 
an'  shut  the  speech  out  av  him. 
"Out!"  sez  I.  "Which  way, 
ye  fat  heathen?"  —  **  Oh  !  "  sez 
he.  "Man,"  sez  I.  "White 
man,  soldier  man,  common 
soldier  man.  Where  in  the 
name  av  confusion  is  the  back 
door  ? "  The  women  in  the 
temple  were  still  on  their  faces, 
an'  a  young  priest  was  holdin* 
out  his  arms  above  their  heads. 

*  "  This  way,"  sez  my  fat  friend, 
duckin*  behind  a  big  bull-god 
an'  divin'  into  a  passage.  Thin 
I  remimbered  that  I  must  ha' 
made  the  miraculous  reputation 
av  that  temple  for  the  next  fifty 
years.  "Not  so  fast,"  I  sez,  an' 
88 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

I  held  out  both  my  hands  wid 
a  wink.  That  ould  thief  smiled 
like  a  father.  I  tuk  him  by  the 
back  av  the  neck  in  case  he 
should  be  wishful  to  put  a  knife 
into  me  unbeknownst,  an'  I  ran 
him  up  an'  down  the  passage 
twice  to  collect  his  sensibilities  ! 
"  Be  quiet,"  sez  he,  in  English. 
"  Now  you  talk  sense,"  I  sez. 
"  Fwhat  '11  you  give  me  for  the 
use  av  that  most  iligant  palanquin 
I  have  no  time  to  take  away  ? " 
—  "Don't  tell,"  sez  he.  "Is  ut 
like?"  sez  I.  "But  ye  might 
give  me  my  railway  fare.  I  'm 
far  from  my  home  an'  I've  done 
you  a  service."  Bhoys,  't  is  a 
good  thing  to  be  a  priest.  The 
89 


The  Incarnation  of 

ould  man  niver  throubled  himself 
to  dhraw  from  a  bank.  As  I 
will  prove  to  you  subsequint,  he 
philandered  all  round  the  slack 
av  his  clothes  an'  began  dribblin' 
ten-rupee  notes,  old  gold  mohurs, 
and  rupees  into  my  hand  till  I 
could  hould  no  more.' 

*  You  lie  ! '  said  Ortheris. 
*  You  're  mad  or  sunstrook,  A 
native  don't  give  coin  unless  you 
cut  it  out  o'  'im.  'T  ain't 
nature.' 

*  Then  my  lie  an'  my  sun- 
stroke is  concealed  under  that 
lump  av  sod  yonder,'  retorted 
Mulvaney  unruffled,  nodding 
across  the  scrub.  *  An'  there  's 
a  dale  more  in  nature  than  your 

90 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

squidgy  little  legs  have  iver  taken 
you  to  Orth'ris,  me  son.  Four 
hundred  an'  thirty-four  rupees  by 
my  reckoning  an  a  big  fat  gold 
necklace  that  I  took  from  him 
as  a  remimbrancer,  was  our  share 
in  that  business.* 

*  An*  'e  give  it  you  for  love  \  * 
said  Ortheris. 

*  We  were  alone  in  that  pas- 
sage. Maybe  I  was  a  trifle  too 
pressin',  but  considher  fwhat  I 
had  done  for  the  good  av  the 
temple  and  the  iverlastin'  joy  av 
those  women.  'T  was  cheap  at 
the  price.  I  wud  ha'  taken  more 
if  I  cud  ha'  found  ut.  I  turned 
the  ould  man  upside  down  at  the 
last,    but   he    was    milked    dhry. 

91 


The  Incarnation  of 

Thin  he  opened  a  door  in  an- 
other passage  an*  I  found  mysilf 
up  to  my  knees  in  Benares  river- 
water,  an'  bad  smellin'  ut  is. 
More  by  token  I  had  come  out 
on  the  river  Hne  close  to  the 
burnin'  ghat  and  contagious  to  a 
cracklin'  corpse.  This  was  in 
the  heart  av  the  night,  for  I  had 
been  four  hours  in  the  temple. 
There  was  a  crowd  av  boats 
tied  up,  so  I  tuk  wan  an'  wint 
across  the  river.  Thin  I  came 
home  acrost  country,  lyin'  up  by 
day.' 

*  How  on  earth  did  you  man- 
age ?'   I  said. 

*  How  did  Sir  Frederick  Rob- 
erts get  from  Cabul  to  Candahar  ? 

92 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

He  marched  an'  he  niver  tould 
how  near  he  was  to  breakin'  down. 
That 's  why  he  is  fwhat  he  is. 
An'  now  — '  Mulvaney  yawned 
portentously.  *  Now  I  will  go 
an'  give  myself  up  for  absince 
widout  leave.  It 's  eight  an' 
twenty  days  an'  the  rough  end  of 
the  colonel's  tongue  in  orderly 
room,  any  way  you  look  at  ut. 
But  'tis  cheap  at  the  price.' 

*  Mulvaney,'  said  I  softly.  *If 
there  happens  to  be  any  sort  of 
excuse  that  the  colonel  can  in 
any  way  accept,  I  have  a  notion 
that  you  '11  get  nothing  more  than 
the  dressing-gown.  The  new 
recruits  are  in,  and * 

*  Not  a  word  more,  sorr.      Is 

93 


The  Incarnation  of 

ut  excuses  the  old  man  wants  ? 
'T  is  not  my  way,  but  he  shall 
have  thim.  I  '11  tell  him  I  was 
engaged  in  financial  operations 
connected  wid  a  church,'  and  he 
flapped  his  way  to  cantonments 
and  the  cells,  singing  lustily  — 

'  So  they  sent  a  corp'ril's  file, 
An'  they  put  me  in  the  gyard-room 
For  conduck  unbecomin'  of  a  soldier.' 

And  when  he  was  lost  in  the 
midst  of  the  moonlight  we  could 
hear  the  refrain  — 

^  Bang  upon  the  big  drum,  bash  upon  the 

cymbals, 
As  we  go  marchin'  along,  boys,  oh  ! 
For  although  in  this  campaign 
There  's  no  whiskey  nor  champagne, 
We  '11  keep  our  spirits  goin'  with  a  song, 

boys ! ' 

94 


Krishna  Mulvaney 

Therewith  he  surrendered  him- 
self to  the  joyful  and  almost 
weeping  guard,  and  was  made 
much  of  by  his  fellows.  But  to 
the  colonel  he  said  that  he  had 
been  smitten  with  sunstroke  and 
had  lain  insensible  on  a  villager's 
cot  for  untold  hours ;  and  be- 
tween laughter  and  goodwill  the 
affair  was  smoothed  over,  so  that 
he  could,  next  day,  teach  the 
new  recruits  how  to  *  Fear  God, 
Honour  the  Queen,  Shoot  Straight, 
and  Keep  Clean.* 


95 


FR 

Kipling 

-  Incarnation 

14  851 

of  Kris: 

ma  >.*ulvaney« 

136 

Sproul  Hall 

Library 

UC  SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FAaLITY 


A  A      000113  946 


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THE  INCARNATION 


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